Well, you're probably reading this right now, thinking..."Why the hell did she write this?" Well I've got a couple of reasons.

For one, why is it that every time I have a crush on someone, who basically has the identical twin of my life, with the bad relationships, or no relationships at all, and a boring ass life, and said life suddenly turns around and mine just goes downhill? I just noted this recently after I developed a little crush on a friend of mine I met somewhat recently. He was quite the charming character and I looked forward to creating a relationship with him, and I did...but only a little. After I caught word of him getting a date for this eloquent little ball that we were having at my high school, I just went WAY downhill and turned into my own equivalent of an Emo-Train-Wreck. Everyday when school ended, I see George (The guy who I was crushing on), or not, and if I did, I'd give a little wave, but he never seemed to notice, and every time I saw him hug someone more meaningfully than he hugged me, I would just turn my back and leave, trying to conserve my tears for the 20 minute ride home on the bus. This went on from last Tuesday, until last Friday, and then started again today, which is extremely odd for me since I never cry, and yet...I cried at least 8 times in just over a week.

Second of all, why is it that, when you feel so down in the dumps that you've resorted to physically drown yourself in your own physical pain just to get away from the emotional pain, the one who is in the rocky relationship, always appears in the darkness, radiant with light, and saves you, giving you hugs and comforting little words, all the while caring about how you feel, and not just putting on a show to make you stop acting like a sorry little bitch? I had a friend, a now dear friend of mine, save me from that darkness, who was in a down in the dumps relationship as well. He actually texted me when I told him that I had been miserable and depressed all week (I decided not to ell him the whole reason besides the fact that I was depressed over everyone else's happy relationships and how mine failed), he took the time, at lunch, to walk up to me, give me a hug, and ask me to sit next to him, and tell me why I felt so bad. He's a really nice person, and if I ever get that way again, I know that I can count on him to cheer me up. I like him too, 'cause he acts like a normal person around me, instead of act like I'm just a girl to be used for whatever he wants. I respect him for that too.

Lastly, why do relationships, not mattering if it is an over-the-Internet relationship, or one in your own school or town, fail for those who want them so much. I mean, good lord Kingdom Hearts almighty, I've been in nine, yes, I can count them with all the fingers on my hand minus my pinky wrapped around a teacup handle, relationships, and if you understand the two paragraphs cleverly written above me, then you'll under stand that they got thrown onto the roof and tossed down the gutter; every single one, over the past three years, from 6th grade through 9th. I don't know what it is about relationships...but every person I meet just like...finds some good excuse to leave me and focus on some other bitch, who's much cuter, and much more "into the swing of things" than I am. I just...wish that someone would take the time to get to know me, and just care for me like they would a puppy, or a kitten, needing the tenderest kind of love and care it can possibly receive, instead of just loving me for one minute, before seeing some other woman and running off to go love her instead. Fucking sucks, ya' know?

Ah well...guess I have to start all over again. One of these days, I hope I find someone who I can truly call "My Dearly Beloved. My Missing Half. My Somebody."